11 People You’ll Meet In Amazon’s Product Reviews

- The Savage 1-Star Book Reviewer- Leaves a one sentence review that ends with “I stopped reading after 10 pages”.
- The Person That “Couldn’t Be Happier” With Their Product- Their review look like this!!! Their wildest dreams have come true!! THANK YOU SO MUCH, random product they didn’t need — the one they only bought because Amazon guaranteed 24-hour delivery!!!
- The Person That’s “Very Disappointed” With Their Product- their review reads like this. it’s short, and consists of only a few run on sentences. they will definitely not be buying again.
- The Lady That Writes Her Autobiography Before Leaving A One-Sentence Review About The Product- Tell your grandpa I said thank you for his service in Vietnam.
- The Person Who Posts 11 Pictures To Accompany Their Negative Review- We’re all put on this earth a reason, folks.
- The Guy That Brings Politics Into It- I mean, who’s to say it wasn’t “the dems” fault his new stool broke?
- The Person That Bought This When I Was Drunk At 1am - Leaves a 5-star review for the product. 2-stars for himself.
- The Person Who Warns You That Their Review Is Very Long- **PUTTING A DISCLAIMER IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS WAS REALLY HELPFUL BECAUSE I PROBABLY DON’T WANT TO READ IT ANYWAY***. But I still click “Read more” because I want to see how long it is.
- The Fight In The Comments- The author’s a bigot. No, he’s not. Well you saying he’s not makes you racist! Guys, guys. Relax. Let’s take this over to CNN’s Facebook page, where it belongs.
- The Person That Starts Their Negative Review Off With “I Bought This Used”- Sounds like you got what you paid for.
- The Person Who Found This Helpful- Thanks for all your hard work.