26 People You’ll Meet At Every CrossFit Gym

1. The Chronic Fist Bumper- Wears a different pair of graphic socks every day. Calls guys bigger than him ‘buddy’.

2. The Woman Who Drops Her Barbell Too Delicately- Signed up for a membership after a “Wine and WOD” event. Asks if the music always has to be that loud.

3. The Guy Who Measures Workouts By The Number of Beer Calories He Can Consume Later- Shakes his head at guys that like White Claw. Freezes membership once a year.

4. The Guy That’s “Too Busy” To Train For The CrossFit Games- If he’s going to do it, he says, he’s going to go “all in”. Maybe next year when “things settle down” at work.

5. The Girl Who Can Totally Kick Your Ass- Tatted, likely a volunteer firefighter. You’re still salty about the time she got stuck with you for a partner WOD and suggested scaling after she saw you do a rope climb.

6. The Guy Who Thinks This Is A Frat- Has a shaker bottle for pre-workout, mid-workout BCAAs, and post-WOD protein. Refers to tough workouts as “spicy”.

7. The Girl That’s Friends With The Girl Who Slept With A Coach- “I don’t get involved,” she says, mid-spiderman-push-up. “Last I saw they were doing shots.”

8. The Guy Who Started An Online Fitness Business- Tags the gym in half his Instagram posts. The link is…