Sign in

Mostly humor essays and stories.


The worst three dollars I ever saved


Part of my work requires me to buy and sell websites. When you buy a website, you have to register it with your name and contact information. You can’t buy a website anonymously. …

If a gym teacher can do it, so can you.

Photo by andreas160578,

Maybe you’re like me and you’re sick of all the guru writers selling “Six Weeks to Six-Figures, Writing Stuff You Love!” advertisements you see online.

I can’t teach you how to be a six-figure writer.

But I did just pass my two-year anniversary of full-time freelancing, so I thought it…


My genitals did not agree

funny running story

My career as a runner lasted only three years, starting at the end of high school when my PE teacher let me borrow his copy of Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. I devoured that book in two days and was hooked from that point on.

Born to Run is…


The time HIV/AIDS marked the spot

I wasn’t worried about getting my STD results — at least, not any more than the average person. My decision to get tested wasn’t a panicked response, and I had no lesions or sores to speak of. But I got tested anyway because it’s the right thing to do. As…


Spoiler: choose hers

I don’t have a strong opinion about gun ownership, other than the fact that people who do have strong opinions about it tend to be a little too intense for my liking. I think if you want to own a gun you should own a gun. I also think if…


The time we joined a wine club for 3 days

Source: Markus Spiske, Pexels

Readers please note: this humorous story references alcholism, which is a serious medical issue. If you need help, contact the National Helpline.

Three years into a relationship is never a good time to learn something new about your partner. That, at least, is the logic I was living by when…

Why men shouldn’t treat dating like baseball


Cliche as it sounds, there’s some truth to the adage that men treat dating like baseball. You know, that whole thing about how a player can fail two out of three times for the duration of his career but still retire a hall of famer. Most men would be so…


The time my aunt defended my make-believe OCD

Source: Neonbrand at

There have been some notable Thanksgiving dinners in my family. Like the year Aunt Carol hired a catered meal service, misread the directions, and reduced balsamic dressing on the stove thinking it was gravy. My dad, drunk by the time dinner rolled around, said he couldn’t taste a difference.


4 amusing truths we forget too easily

There’s an old story about Pablo Picasso that’ll help you find your purpose. While sketching a picture at the park, a woman approaches him and begs for a portrait. He agrees. Less than a minute later, he turns the portrait to show her. …

Ben Kissam

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store