I don’t have a strong opinion about gun ownership, other than the fact that people who do have strong opinions about it tend to be a little too intense for my liking. I think if you want to own a gun you should own a gun. I also think if you shoot someone with your gun then you should maybe have it taken away. But I‘ll still probably want to know who you shot or why you did it before I make up my mind.
Only once have I ever taken sides in the gun ownership debate. …
Readers please note: this humorous story references alcholism, which is a serious medical issue. If you need help, contact the National Helpline.
Three years into a relationship is never a good time to learn something new about your partner. That, at least, is the logic I was living by when I told my girlfriend early on in our relationship that I can’t really drink alcohol. The way I said it may seem a tad blunt, but I knew from experience that it had to be this way.
“I don’t really drink,” I told her. “But if I did, I could be, like, the world’s best alcoholic.” …
Cliche as it sounds, there’s some truth to the adage that men treat dating like baseball. You know, that whole thing about how a player can fail two out of three times for the duration of his career but still retire a hall of famer. Most men would be so lucky. The majority of us boast dating averages that barely qualify us for a supporting role on a double-A ballclub — one where the team’s primary stadium sponsor is a chain of local gardening franchises and has a mascot called the SeaDogs or the SkiDoos or maybe even the SkiDogs.
Although men don’t like being rejected, we sort of deserve it, and that especially goes for men who treat dating like baseball. Guys in that mindset have a knack for ignoring warning signs and continuing to see women that are wrong them. This is what happened to me in this particular instance. On a whim, I asked out a girl from my gym. She was attractive but quiet so I was nervous she might say no. …
There have been some notable Thanksgiving dinners in my family. Like the year Aunt Carol hired a catered meal service, misread the directions, and reduced balsamic dressing on the stove thinking it was gravy. My dad, drunk by the time dinner rolled around, said he couldn’t taste a difference.
There was the Thanksgiving when my cousin Shep, in the middle of a love affair with all substances mind-altering, performed a striptease that almost killed the elderly neighbor lady who joined us that year. I still remember her painted-on eyebrows nearly touching her hairline as Shep’s fingers dangerously thumbed the waistband on his boxers. …
There’s an old story about Pablo Picasso that’ll help you find your purpose. While sketching a picture at the park, a woman approaches him and begs for a portrait. He agrees. Less than a minute later, he turns the portrait to show her. It’s a few crude scribbles that might resemble the outline of a woman.
“Oh…it’s, well…beautiful! You really captured my essence. How much for it?” she says (more to be courteous than anything. She’s expecting he’ll just give it to her).
“Five thousand francs,” Picasso says.
“FIVE THOUSAND? The portrait took you one minute — and it’s just a bunch of scribbles!” …
This isn’t another “ How I make 20k/month working at home in my underwear/how u totally can 2” article. I can’t teach you how to be a billionaire being a freelance writer.
But after two years of full-time freelancing, here are 33 things I think can help you make a living as a writer if you wanted to.
Learn how to hear your own writing in your head through the eyes of your audience. It’s the most important skill a budding writer can develop.
To develop this skill, you must write and read a lot of your own stuff. Constantly edit and pare your work. Read your own writing as though you’re a stranger laying eyes on it for the first time. …
A year ago this week, I learned the Transcendental Meditation (TM) technique.
Please note: I am in no way affiliated with TM. The only person I’ve ever spoken to that’s part of the organization is my teacher in Boulder, and that’s been to check in on how my practice is going.
I’m also not a doctor (duh), so take whatever I describe as benefits as anecdotal evidence only.
Transcendental meditation (TM) is a mantra-based meditation practice. On the TM program, you meditate twice daily for 20 minutes. I usually meditate at 5am and then again around 2pm.
The course fee (more on this later) covers the four day course and lifetime check-ins with your teacher. …
There are different parts of Self.
In any given moment, a different part of Self dominates your personality and influences your actions. This could last for a moment while you’re on an important call, or be your dominating personality trait for years at a time. Like a car race, each part of Self is vying to be in the lead.
If you played sports, there is probably an Athlete inside of you. He was likely forged at a young age. Perhaps you started playing sports at such a young age you can’t exactly remember when he or she came about.
The Athlete has a strong personality. He can easily step up and lead a group of people. Taking charge is not a challenge for him. This can be both a gift and a curse. …