List

Top 20 Songs Of All Time (F*ckboy Edition)

Prove that Sweet Child o’ Mine is actually mine

source:unsplash.com; Justin Luebke

20. I Will Follow You Into The Dark (Unless You Also Want To Hang Out Tomorrow) by Death Cab For Cutie

19. Lose Yourself (In My Salmon-Colored Shorts) by Eminem

18. Sorry (JK, I Don’t Apologize) by Justin Bieber

17. What Makes You Beautiful (Is That There’s Only 3 Girls Left At This Party And The Other 2 Have Boyfriends) by One Direction

16. Crazy Train (Is What I’ll Call You When You Ask Me What This Was) by Ozzie Osbourne

15. What’s Love Got To Do With It (‘It’ Being My Casual Request For Anal) by Tina Turner

14. I Gotta Feeling (That Your Friend Can See Right Through My Advances, So Let’s Go Talk Over There) by The Black Eyed Peas

13. Call Me Maybe (JK, Don’t) by Carly Rae Jepsen

12. Tik Tok (Where The Fuck Is This Uber Driver?) by Kesha

11. Everything I Do (Such As Give Backhanded Compliments), I Do It For You by Bryan Adams

10. I Want To Hold Your Hand (To Create The Illusion That I’m A Good Guy As We Walk To Another Bar To Meet Your Friends) by The Beatles

9. Uptown Funk (Is What’s In My Bed Because I Don’t Wash My Sheets) by Bruno Mars

8. Carolina On My Mind (Myrtle Beach ’16, #NeverForget!) By James Taylor

7. We Are The Champions (Is What We’d Be If Those Refs Didn’t Screw Us At State!) by Queen

6. It’s Gonna Be Me (When I’m Ultimately Forced To Make A Choice Between My Feelings And Yours) by N’Sync

5. I’m Like A Bird (In The Sense That Sleeping In My Craigslist Apartment Might Give You The Flu) by Nelly Furtado

4. Free Bird (Is What I Call Myself, Cause Daddy Doesn’t Get Wifed Up!) by Lynyrd Skynyrd

3. (Prove That) Sweet Child o’ Mine (Is Actually Mine) by Guns ‘N Roses

2. I Want It That Way (Because That’s What I’m Used To) by The Backstreet Boys

1. (Did I Mention I Cover) Wonderwall (?) by Oasis

Mostly humor essays. Benkissam@gmail.com

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